


The Duke Ducking Out

by Ive_never_read_fluff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff
Summary: Janus is accepted! Yay!Except now Remus is alone, and he's giving in to his thoughts.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 99





	The Duke Ducking Out

**Author's Note:**

> ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

Remus was never one to take his emotions seriously.

He'd dismiss them as soon as they surfaced, it's something he's done ever since a little but after the split, Roman was the emotional one, not Remus. Well, he was. Remus just never showed them. Janus had always told him to be more serious, that joking around didn't help anyone, that it wasn't good for him. Remus would wave him off with some of his intrusive thoughts or by flicking him off or just walking away.

God, he's such an asshole (no joke intended), Janus was just trying to help him. He drove everyone away. First Roman and the rest of the good-for-shit 'Light Sides', then Virgil, then Janus. 

Remus was the reason their little group broke apart. Why Virgil left in the first place. Why Janus seeked out validation from those fucking 'Lights' and worked so hard to be accepted and joined them with their fucking great ass attitudes and good ideas and love and comfort-

Fuck. Despite his language towards them, he really wants nothing more than to be part of their happiness and love and everything good. He wants to be able to talk to Roman like the brothers they were, even though they're not technically brothers, more like a broken fusion (?). He wants to be able to feel one of Patton's hugs, as he's heard great things about them from Virgil - ~~and Janus~~ -. He wants to be able to talk with Logan about the science behind some of his intrusive thoughts. He wants to be included in their weekly movie nights and cuddle piles. He wants to feel loved and wanted and important and worth something.

He wants it so bad. The problem is; he's bad. He's Thomas's Intrusive Thoughts, he's gross and disgusting and foul and anything else close to that. He's alone, unloved, unwanted, worthless. If he were to die (duck out, or go to the subconscious) Roman would just take over. Everyone would be happier.

Patton wouldn't have to work as hard to make Thomas repress him, because he wouldn't be here anymore! Logan wouldn't have to have as much patience explaining to Thomas and the others how he isn't a bad person and how repression is bad, it'd help Logan! Roman wouldn't have to deal with the disgust of being related to Remus and he'd have the Imagination to himself, that's good, Roman could do more! Virgil wouldn't have to be stressed out by Remus' intrusiveness and with Remus gone, he wouldn't have to risk making Virgil have a panic attack, Virgil will be safer! Janus wouldn't have to defend Remus or pretend to care about him anymore, Janus could be freer.

Yet Remus was selfish and neglectful -- until now. Now he realized and confronted everything. ~~-And oh, how he wished he hadn't.-~~ So that's what Remus was doing now, writing apology notes to each of them. 

Roman's said:

_Hi brother! So I know you don't wanna hear from me, but just bare with me, k?_ _Great, so -- hi, I really hope you have fun in the Imagination now, y'know, it's gonna be less Remusie now! Congrats. Also, before I go, I loveee youu!! (PS, really sorry for all I've done, hope it's better now.)_

_-Your Trash Brother♡_

Janus's said:

_Hi Jan! (Is that ok? I know you didn't like me using it before but you've told them now so.) I know you always used to say it but I've finally decided to open my eyes, and now I see everything and now I understand, so I'm really sorry about being such an ass to you and all. But I hope you're having fun with your new friends!! Again, sorry about everything._

_-Remus_

Patton's said:

_Hey!! I know you don't like me or whatever but at least can you please hear me out? I won't be long I swear. I'm so sorry about everything I've caused, about Roman, about King, about Virgil, about Roman, about you, about your famILY. Sorry. Byee!_

_-Remus_

Virgil's said: 

_Sorry. Like, really fucking sorry. I know it's just a word and doesn't help for shit, but I really am, I've done so much to you. I mean, I made you and Dee fight and all that. You're not as dumb as me (you're not dumb at all), so I'm sure you know the other things I've done. But really just wanted to say sorry._

_-Remus_

Logan's said:

_Hi, sorry about those times I've hurt you. And everything else I've did. Anyway, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done those things and yes they're stupid but I can't change what I did. If y'all decide to tell Thomas you're gonna need to be the one to hold it together, not saying you can't, but it'll stress you out. Sorry about that. Hah, even when I'm gone I'm still fucking everything up, lol._

_-Remus_

As he finished up the notes he set off to put them somewhere where they'd find them, because hell knows no one would ever go in Remus' room. He walked into their living room. Unfortunately, there was people (sides?) in the living room. Remus internally cursed himself -- he forgot that they ate meals together and not in their rooms. Fortunately, they seemed to be engaged in conversation to deeply to notice him.

Good.

Remus, being as inconspicuous as he could, went to place the cards (letters? Aren't they the same thing?) next to the couch, before remembering how stupid this was, and heading back just as quickly as he came.

Tonight was their movie night and they probably wouldn't go to their rooms at all tonight. So he went to each of their doors, Janus' moved out from where the 'Dark Sides' were so it was easier to get to, and placed his card-letter things on the floor and sled (?) them under their doors. 

It was done, now all he had to do was walk into the subconscious. Remus felt his eyes burning with unshed tears. So, letting out a bitter, unhappy laugh, he took the final step forward, resigned himself to his death (well, as close as possible to it). 

He finally did something right.


End file.
